tears
I never thought I'd have so many tears once a baby came after ttc for so long. But right now, I am dealing with my babies not drinking enough fluids, they just won't, and them having a hard time going #2. They go but it is difficult for them and when they do it is very hard. And as we speak they are not napping even though they are in their cribs and completely exhausted. I am having a panic attack. I don't know what to do and I feel like I can't breathe. Dh makes no decisions and leaves it all up to me. I just can't do it all all the time. I am trying my best with these situations but still I feel like it is not good enough. I am not taking care of my babies well enough. Ds had a little bit of a nap but none so far for dd and I have the EI people coming later today so I was trying to plan it around their afternoon nap and they need a bath today too. There is just so much and I guess I am just not cut out for this because I feel this way alot lately. I love them so much but they deserve so much better than me. They deserve a stable mother who is not a basket case that can be sure they get everything they need and I am not that. I just don't know what to do anymore, when does it get easier??????
posted by ilyse @ 10:01 AM
5 Comments:
Ilyse, first of all, you are a wonderful mother. You are doing everything for those precious little ones. I wish someone would have told me that it wasn't going to be easy being a mom. But it's the best thing that I have ever done in my life. You will always question if you are doing things right - that doesn't make you a bad mom. It shows that you care tremendously about their wellbeing and want the best for them. And that is you. No one is better for them than their mother. I wish I could say it gets easier and I'm sure it does. We all go through moments where we question everything. Regarding the pooping, have you tried prune juice? I went through the same thing with Peter (I really think it's a preemie thing). I tried prune juice and when that didn't work, I used suppositories that the doc recommended. Regarding the sleeping/napping, my sons would not sleep unless I rocked them everytime. Is there a routine that they like - ex. being rocked, being in the swing, etc. That worked and still works for me with the boys. Please know that I'm here for you if you need anything. Feel free to call me.
Thanks for the support Amy!!! I have tried the prune juice, only they won't drink it. It is not so much what I try, it is issues they have against drinking. They are now on Mylanta as per the GI and things are a little better, also they do go down and take decent naps sometimes it just takes her a while. I do try to keep everything before the nap always the same. Thank you for the suggestions I always appreciate that from a well seasoned mom. Same goes to you, I am here if you need anything as well. Hope you had a great weekend!!
Ilyse
Don't underestimate yourself. You are a great mom and your kids know that. In time it does and will get better. About the poop have you tried giving them stage 2 (I think) prunes? Carmine loves them (ick) and looks for more, lol. Even peaches or pears, I think any of the p's fruits gets them to go.
As for naps if they are fine in their cribs leave them there when they should nap. They are safe there the worse that they will do is cry, I know that it hurts but they will be fine.
Having twins puts a strain on things as I saw with my brother & sil but things did get better. I don't want to offend you in any way but is it possible that you may have PPD? Especially with you having Panic Attacks...
Just remember that you are being the best mom that you can be. I wish that I could be there to help you.
Smooches
Thanks Lex. We have been doing the prunes everyday and that with the Mylanta seem to be helping somewhat. No offense taken, I wish I could just blame it on ppd, but I have always had panic attacks, not very often but way before the babies came. So I am officially a wacko. LOL Thanks for the advice though. And seriously, I have thought about ppd, but I honestly think it is just that I am overtired, run down and need a break. Thanks for the support. :)
First of all - please - never think you are a bad mother! You are doing everything you can for your babies - and then some.
Just because you don't work outside the home (and this is in reference to D and your previous post) doesn't mean you are not doing HARD WORK. Having a baby is hard work - having twins is harder - and having twins with special needs right now is harder still. You need support, time for yourself, and sleep - and D has GOT to start giving you some help! I would not stand for that - I watched my mother be walked all over for all my life (and still is).
Do you take anything for the panic attacks? When I was having them between 2006 and earlier this year, I really didn't want to accept that was what they were - and my pride and dignity would not allow me to ask for meds that I really needed. I hope you can take something - or explore taking something. It does not mean you have lost this battle - it means accepting temporary help as you work through it all.
If you need to talk, please e-mail me and I will send you my phone number.
**Hugs** to you.
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