Double Trouble

We have received the greatest gift we could possibly get. Not one, but two children to love.

Saturday, April 29, 2006

we have blasts on ice!!!

I can't believe it, we have four embryos that made it to the blastocyst stage and that were able to be frozen. I went this morning to get my progesterone and estrogen levels checked (because I am paranoid) and they checked the fax to see if the embryo reports were in. And they were and they told me right then and there and I started bawling like a baby. I was in shock. I asked her if she was sure it was me. We have had 14 left over embryos from the first 2 cycles and both times none made it to this stage. When we had the transfer, head doctor told us he thought 2 would make it and to hear 4 this morning blew my mind. D and I are finally going out to dinner tonight to celebrate our anniversary, so now we really have much more to celebrate. It is one more hurdle we have overcome. I will post again when I get the results of today's bloodwork.

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edited 3:25pm

Phew, my progesterone level is fine, it is 40 and my estrogen, not that I know what it should be right now at all, was 2000, which sounds high to me but they said that is good too. So I will have to take their word for it. And while they were on the phone with me, I verified again that we have 4 tot-sicles and we do!!! And D mowed the lawn today and we are going out for a yummy dinner. Today is such a good day!! :)

Thursday, April 27, 2006

video

D took this the other day, it is of Pixie drinking water with her paw. And then her reaction when she realizes she is being filmed. We got a good laugh out of it and thought you might too. Enjoy!!

Pixie drinks with paw

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

embryo transfer

Today went really well. Head doctor did the transfer, so I got to pee as much as I wanted to beforehand rather than having to have my bladder full, like the other doctors require. And it was nice because you are more covered up like an IUI and not totally exposed for the world to see since he doesn't use the sono machine like the others. And the best thing was that he transferred 3 8As!! Overall, the embryo scores were alot better than last time. I was reviewing everything this morning before we went and I compared when we got home. The first time I had 2 transferred and on day 3 they may have been similar to 2 of what was transferred today but then again they did a day 5 transfer that time and not much changed from day 3 to day 5. So who knows. Head doctor thinks we may end up with 2 blastocysts which we are hoping for. We have never had any. I have to believe that all we have been doing this time, the acupuncture, the praying, my weight-loss, the lower meds, the surgery, everything, had made a difference. I am just concerned about that damn "juicy spot", otherwise everything would have been perfect. Oh well, I am trying to stay positive and keep my hopes up, while we wait. I am going back to the acupuncture dude in a little while and then coming home to relax.

Monday, April 24, 2006

today's fun and excitement

Thanks so much for the good wishes and kind words. They are much appreciated. The retrieval will be tomorrow at 10:45am unless they call tomorrow morning to tell us we have blastocysts and to come in on Thursday instead. So today, I am still a little sore. I had to go to the chiropractor today. He wanted to stimulate my pressure points for the transfer. And then tonight and tomorrow after the transfer, I go for acupuncture. All these things are far away from us, well accu is not too bad but the RE (where they do the IVF) and the chiro. So I just hate being in the car so much, it gives me a headache. Oh well. I just got home a little while ago from the chiro and ate lunch. And now I am just hanging around. Hope all is well with whoever reads this. :)

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Wooohoooo

They just called with the results from yesterday!!

15 eggs were retrieved

14 were mature

12 fertilized


I am happy!!!!

egg retrieval

So yesterday was the egg retrieval. It was ok, I guess ok as it can be. There was one point while we were waiting where I started to feel sharp pains (not too bad though) but I was worried that I was ovulating. But apparently I didn't since they got 15 eggs. We get the call today with how many were mature and how many fertilized. Anyway, Dr Airhead was pretty good and the anesthesiologist and nurses were really nice and D was pretty good to me too. And I didn't get nauseous after like I did the first time, so like I said, it was as good as it could be. I was fine when we got home so I ate and slept on the couch for a few hours. At that point, all the meds wore off and I was mighty sore. I was expecting that. So I spent most of yesterday on the couch downstairs (the computer is upstairs), since it is closer to the bathroom, good tv and the kitchen. I am still pretty sore but I guess a little better. It hurts when I laugh, cough or have to go to the bathroom. I guess that puts pressure on the ovaries or something. So since I had 15 eggs they gave me the instructions they give to people for OHSS (I am not even close to that) but I thought it was good that they were being cautious and paying attention. I have to eat a high protein diet, which should be good for me WW-wise since I will be sitting on my ass most of the week. LOL And monitor my weight (which I do anyway), and my fluid intake and output. I can only drink 1.5 liters of water a day which will be hard for me, since I always drink alot of water. And I have to pee into this thing everytime, well I have been peeing into a cup and them pouring it into this thing to measure. But let me tell you, I think they want to make sure I am going enough and I definitely am. So I am sure that I will be fine as far as OHSS goes. I will probably do this until I go back to work (May 1)(the diet part is ok but the fluid intake is hard and the output is a pain in the ass) and then if everything is fine, I will stop. I will see how it goes. Oh btw, the nurse gave me all the stuff on her own just based on how many eggs I have, not the doctor. So I will talk to them about it too when I go back for the transfer.

Yesterday was our 5 year anniversary. We just did small gifts and we will probably go out to dinner to celebrate next weekend. D got me a beautiful silver necklace that had intertwining hearts like the infinity symbol. I love it! I was really trying to get him something that he was into, since he is very hard to buy for, I got him the first season DVDs of the Sopranos. I think he liked it. Oh well, I tried. And today is Greek Easter. I have a little goody bag of candy and a card for him when he gets up. He will go to the in-laws for a little while later for dinner and bring some stuff home for me. There are certain foods that we only have on Easter and I can't wait to have some!! My in-laws are awesome cooks.

I guess that is about it for now. I am headed downstairs to the couch. I must have pulled a muscle in my leg or something because it hurts a lot too (unrelated to IVF I think). I was so looking forward to after the retrieval because I knew that I could sit around for the week after if I wanted to (I took next week off from work). Last week I was really busy. I was trying to clean the house, get all the laundry and food shopping and stuff that I would have done this weekend all done before the retrieval. And I also had to squeeze in getting shots, getting up super early to go to the RE every morning before work and acupuncture after work. I am really tired and love this that I get to relax now. Ok, tata for now. I will post again after we get the phone call.

Friday, April 21, 2006

go Dr Airhead go

Today was much better. I had the sono and Dr Airhead came in for it and said it is not fluid. It was a spot that was a different color and she used the medical term for it and I asked her what it meant and she said it was like a juicy spot and that it was good. She said my lining was beautiful. I know we are talking about Dr Airhead here, but I keep telling myself that she wouldn't be where she was today if she didn't have some kind of brain in her head. So I have to trust that she knows what she is doing. Oh and the schedule must have changed because she told me that she was doing the retrievals tomorrow, not Dr B. It probably wouldn't matter but since she already knows what is going on in there and told me she would check it out again when she was in there, I though it was a good thing. And while we were waiting for Dr Airhead, I asked nice nurse about my follicles since I totally didn't ask yesterday and she said there are 10 mature and like 3 smaller ones that may be mature by then. That was including the biggie one and also that was yesterday, so today could have been a little difference. So I am hoping between that and maybe they missed one or two that they didn't get on the sono, that they can get 10 good ones. Oh and there was someone that I never saw before doing blood and I got a little concerned since my veins are not so good and both arms are shot but it went very smoothly. And the anesthesiologist called already, it will be the one that I really like, so I was glad. I am feeling so much better than yesterday about things. I am a little bloated and the ovaries are putting pressure on my back (that happens to me sometimes when I get my period too), so that hurts but I think I like that better than the ovary pain that I have had in the past. I am home today. I went food shopping and will do some laundry and cleaning. But I really feel good. And tomorrow is also our 5 year anniversary, so our babies will be conveived on a very special day! Now I am all excited again. :)

Thursday, April 20, 2006

what happened after the last post

I called the other RE office (they have 2 locations) this morning and Dr S was there (I don't think he was suppose to be because they told me in my location that he was off today) so I left him a message for him to please call me. Both he and the head doctor (who is doing surgeries today) are off tomorrow. Anyway, they called me to give me my instructions, they said be at other location at 7:15 am on Saturday morning for a sono and then a t 8:15 is the appt for the ER. So then I really wanted to talk to him, nurse that called with my instructions could not tell me why I needed the sono first. So I called back other location and they told me Dr S was long gone and he left without getting his messages. The girl was really nice and apologetic. I told her that I waited to call again because sometimes I know they call back at night, so after like 5 hours, I figured that was long enough. So I was crying and she was trying to help. The only people I could talk to today or tomorrow were Dr Airhead or bitchface nurse practitioner, nice choice. So I called my location, bitchface was gone. I called back other location to leave a message for any doctor and Dr Airhead just came in and they gave her my message because I was so upset (which I thought was nice, sometimes the people in other location are not nice especially when they don't know you), so I got to talk to her. She was not very helpful. She wasn't answering when I asked her why it is bad to have the transfer with fluid there. So I am assuming that it could block implantation. BUT she did say that if they need to they can aspirate it. So that was good. I am glad to hear that they at least do something for it and aren't just be like oh well, we can't do it, too bad for you. When I asked her about if they need to freeze the embryos and wait, what if I have no blastocysts and she was like let's not even go there unless we need to. So again, the non-answer gave me my answer I guess, that I would have to start all over, if we decided to go for #4 and pay out of pocket for the ER and ET. She did tell me that she really didn't think it was a problem at all. She said it was probably that egg-white mucus backing up a little from the cervix. Which makes sense because I have a lot of it lately (sorry if TMI). I never have had that before during IVF but I guess it's due to the different protocol. She also asked me if I did IVF before and if I did it and ovulated before the ER which annoyed me. Granted she was in other location and only had my current info, not my whole chart, but still, I have been with them for years. Whatever. So anyway, she will be in my location tomorrow morning when I go to get my blood work and I think in other location on Saturday (not for the ET but doing the morning appts) so she wants me to have a sono tomorrow and maybe Sat urday (before the ER) and she wants to see them. So I guess, she is taking me under her wing and I have to trust her. I have no choice. I do feel better to hear that there is a remedy and of course bitchface didn't tell me that, but still I am annoyed and disappointed but oh well.

So hcg shot tonight at 10:15

Bloodwork and sono tomorrow at 8

Sono then ER Saturday morning

today's update

Well there is another snag. The day after my surgery, they saw fluid in there and they said don't worry about it, it will flow out or reabsorb. 3 days later when I started the meds, they saw it and said the same thing. Well today, I am sure there was less but they saw it again. Nice sono tech and bitchface nurse practitioner (yeah, bitchface nurse practitioner was there again and no doctor (but from what I understood Dr Airhead (the only doctor I really don't like there) would be in later, so there really is no difference)) both said it was not a lot and not in a bad spot so not to worry at all. Bitchface said worst case scenario, they would check it out at the retrival and transfer and if they couldn't do it, they would freeze the embryos and then I would have them transferred in a FET in another cycle. But we all know that my embryos don't make it to blastocyse. I know, I know, maybe this time they will. I'm just nervous, that what if it would be ok and they don't do the transfer or what if it's not ok and they do do the transfer. Was the whole week off next week a waste? I feel so sad. I feel defeated. I feel like me and D can never catch a break with anything we do, so why bother anymore. I know I am being very negative and I am sure that could change before the day is over but this is how I feel now. I don't know how I am going to get through the day today. I am almost in tears now. I was doing so well this time and was feeling pretty good when I went in there, I really was and now, I feel like a deflated balloon. Later when they call with the instructions, I am going to ask to speak to a nurse practicioner (probably I'll get Bitchface again!) or just try to ask which ever nurse calls some questions because I was so upset about this, I didn't even ask about my follicles or estrogen or anything else. I think from what I heard from the sono after I heard fluid and was trying to concentrate, that the range was like 14 or 14.5 to 20.5 and then there was the big one that we will loose. So I guess it's ok. And I asked who, will be doing the retrievals on Saturday and they said Dr B. I know one of my friends thought she was ok , but I have never met her (she is fairly new) and heard some not so nice things about her. I'm scared and really nervous. I just hate this so much. It's just so not fair. I keep asking god how much are we suppose to endure? I know that there are people a lot worse off than us but does that mean that we have to suffer? Haven't we been through enough??

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

phew

There were 15 follicles this morning and my lining was 12, so that made me feel a little better today. Some were small but at least it was more. Dr S was not there yet when I was in, but I spoke to S, the nice nurse practitioner, so it was ok. If the other nurse practitioner from yesterday wasn’t such an asshole, I guess she could have told me that they expected more were coming (that is what S told me today, that they could tell more were coming). And they upped the meds today, so I guess it is all good. The only bad thing is that I may loose a couple of larger eggs while they wait for the smaller ones to catch up but there is nothing I can do about it. I feel better than I did yesterday about things. Also it was annoying because I was there for an hour and a half, so I was late for work but it is much easier to be late here than at my old place so it wasn’t too terrible. I asked her also about the estrogen and she didn’t really give me a straight answer so I guess it is like I thought, it just happens to some people that respond well. But she did say that my levels are high but ok, they are just trying to keep them that way, like not close to over-stimming or anything but since I had been in the past, they are trying to not even let me get close. So I guess that is good. She was really nice and reassured me.

I also feel better today because I had the best lunch!! I ran to weigh in and didn’t say because we had a luncheon with food catered from a really good Italian restaurant and I ate what I wanted. So I felt happy and full after that. Now if only I could have had a nap too.

Monday, April 17, 2006

why does one's estrogen get so high while on stims?

That is what I'd like to know. I was in a meeting and that is when the nurse called with my instructions for tonight and then of course by the time I got out and called them back, the office was closed. Ugh!! They are lowering my Follistim again. I am sure it is due to elevated estrogen levels, since that is always the case when my meds get lowered. I just don't get why my levels go so high. Is there some other reason for that that is being missed here? I feel like I am on levels of drugs that one would be on for an IUI. This is really scaring me. I think Dr S will be in tomorrow morning, so I plan to bug him until he gives me real answers, I don't get this.

this morning's RE appointment

Ok, well first off, I am on a low dosage of meds to begin with. We and the doctor decided to take a different approach this time to maybe get fewer but better quality eggs, since they always start me off high and then have to back off because my estrogen goes sky high. So Friday after my first follicle check and blood work since beginning the meds on Tuesday, they lowered my meds which concerned me. My next appointment after that was this morning, so it was a long wait. Then yesterday I had egg white cm (sorry if TMI), so I freaked. Then I thought about it and told myself, my follicles were like 10 on Friday, there would be no way that I would be ready to ovulate before they could give me meds to stop it. And that maybe I just had the cm because of the meds in the first place and that my body was not really getting ready to ovulate.

This morning's RE appointment was not really that good but surprisingly, I am feeling ok about everything. Anxious, nervous and excited but ok. I am trying not to worry and trust in them and in God and know that everything will happen the way it is suppose to and that I am being well taken care of, but as everyone knows, that is not always easy.

I go in for the sono and the bitchy ultrasound tech comes in alone. So not only does she not share anything with me and explain, she does not have to say it out loud to someone else so they can write it in my chart since she is doing that herself. I kind of could tell from the screen what was happening but it was just annoying. Then they go to take my blood and I don't always have very cooperative veins, and then of course there is tons of scar tissue for years of this crap, so I don't totally blame the nurses. But they stuck me and had trouble getting the blood to flow, so then it went for a bit and then stopped. So she called the other one over and I don't look when they are taking blood but they were both doing crap to my arm and finally got the blood to flow. It was not fun. Then, I go in to see the doctor and it was the bitchy nurse practitioner. She wasn't too bad today but just on top of the other stuff it would have been better if it wasn't her. So I asked her about my follicles. I had only like 6 or 7. I know it could be better than the other times, they could be better quality (not that my eggs were bad but the embryos were not great after day 3) but it is just scary since I have always had like 15 follicles. They were ranging from sizes 12-17.5. We might lose the 17.5 waiting for the others. I was not happy about that either, damn lead follicle. Then she was going through everything to make sure we were set for the retrieval to be this weekend (which was good I guess, just incase) and she tells me that D needs a semen analysis even after I specifically asked Dr S 3 times over a month ago and he told me no. So now D needs to get it done tomorrow, he was not happy about it but oh well. I was kind of upset about the whole morning when I called so in a way (even though I didn't plan it) it worked out in my favor because he didn't give me a hard time about the sample donation tomorrow. I guess he saw all that I had to endure and figured it was the least he could do. And then I had to have one of the nurses give me my Ganarelix shot ( I brought it with me, good thinking on my part) so that I don't ovulate on my own. I will be getting one of those every morning now too when I go in. And that shot was not that painful but when it was done it burned and hurt like a bitch.

So let's just say my morning from 7-7:30 was not fun. But as I said before, I am trying my best to have trust in the doctors and God. I am doing ok now, I really am. Much better than I would have been in the past I think. Ok, I guess I should go get some work done. I will post again later when I get the call with my instructions for tonight.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Catster

Happy Easter to those that celebrate!

We put the kitties on Catster this weekend. Here are the links if you are interested.
Pixie
Ginger

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Surprise!

First I must say, Happy Passover tonight to those that celebrate!!!

Ok, now I can continue. Last night I got to surprise D. It was fun. We had our Motorola V710 cell phones that we got 2 years ago when they first came out. They were suppose to have a Bluetooth feature that never worked properly. So there was a big class action lawsuit and they gave us the chance to get new phones in exchange for the ones we have used for 2 years that has the not working Bluetooth. We got to choose from like 10 different phones. We got the Razr V3 phones in black. edited- I just was looking at photos online to post one and I see now that even though they are calling our black it is really more of a charcoal gray (which is fine). So it looks like the one in the photo below but it is a matte charcoal rather than a shiny silver. So I didn't tell him that I did the exchange ( I knew which phone he wanted), I had to do it since the both are under my name so I did it yesterday and surprised him when he came home. He was very excited. It was nice to see him smile and all excited about his new electronic toy!! Ok, yes I was excited too. Heh.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

it's a freakin' miracle/ fun begins

This post has two titles because there are going to be 2 subjects. I hope this works, I am attempting to email this to my blog rather than just enter it normally. I guess I will try it and see.
 
Part one- It's a freakin miracle................
I ate like a pig this weekend, did not exercise due to the surgery (and because I was lazy!!) and still lost weight. The only way I think this may have happened is that the ton of water I drank compensated for it. I guess I shouldn't complain and should just watch what I eat and stay on track going forward, especially in the next few weeks. Anyway, I just wanted to share that because I was totally shocked. I am now at a 54.8 lb loss. I do feel really happy about that. The only thing that makes me sad is that there were only a few of us at WW today so she was going over our goal weights with us. I knew this in my head but I guess maybe I thought she would say something otherwise but she didn't. I would be happy and comfortable if I lose another 28 lbs but according to the BMI health and weight chart, I need to lose another 46 lbs to be considered normal and at goal. I know what you are thinking and that I don't look it but I really weigh alot for how I look, I am very solid. I needed to lose 100lbs and that really depresses me. I hope that I can put the next 46lbs on hold for 9 months but if not, I am really scared, I don't know if I can do it or will have to motivation to do it. I really hope that I will.  
 
Part two- Fun begins.................
I had my bloodwork and sonogram this morning. I got the go ahead to begin my shots tonight. I will be doing 150 whatever of Follistim and 1 powder (which is 75 whatever) of Menopuer. This is exciting but at the same time I feel very anxious and nervous about it. I guess after tonight when we get the first time for this round overwith, it will be better tomorrow. It has just been a long time since we have done this. I go back on Friday for more bloodwork and a sono. The weird thing this morning was that I have only been off the birth control pills since Saturday and I had about 8 follicles less than 10. I thought that was strange. I didn't recall ever having that many even small ones when not on the meds. Oh well, as long as it turns out ok when it is important, I guess that is all that matters.
 
Ok, I guess I should get back to work now. Tata for now.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

how to make extra cash?

Hey, does anyone have any ideas of things I can do to make extra money during my nights and weekends? I am not crazy about selling (and I am not good at it) or working the corner (LOL). Things are just really tight these days and I want to help better our situation. I have looked at alot of work at home things online but how to do I know what is real and legit? I have already done the Avon thing in the past and made no money (because I am not good at sales). D has been working alot of overtime and has a good freelance gig going but they will both be ending soon and I want to do my part. I have started to clip coupons again but I need to find other ways to cut back and bring in some more money. We do still want to be able to live just a little bit, I mean life can't all be about work. Any suggestions??

Friday, April 07, 2006

surgery today

J & S, thanks so much for the positive thoughts and kind words. The surgery went well. It was actually a hysteroscopy polypectomy (he went in, looked around and removed the polyps) rather than a d & c. I think he though that he would not be able to find the polyp but he did see and remove that one and another, so the d & c (scraping of everything) was not needed. I was sore and slept for a while when we got home. I feel great now which I am really surprised about. I am a little sore but not bad at all, kind of just like having a period or something. Much less sore than having an egg retrieval, which is sort of what I was expecting. Dr S was so nice and answered all my questions before hand and everything and was very patient. I go in tomorrow for my follow up (and to stop the birth control pills) and then again on Tuesday to begin meds. He originally told me that I would go in on Tuesday for the follow up and begin the meds (and stop birth control pills) that day and when I questioned him yet again this morning, he told me that if I went for my follow up on Tuesday that I would not begin meds that day, which again would throw off the timing that I took off from work and delay things yet again. I almost cried at that point (I know it is stupid but it is very stressful to me) and he told me to he would call the office and to go in for my follow up tomorrow, so I though that was nice. When I called they were expecting my call and already had my appointment scheduled. D is taking good care of me for the few things I am asking for and I am sure he is enjoying being home today too. Anyway, I just wanted to give you the update.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

tomorrow is the day

So tomorrow is the d & c. I hope that today goes quickly and that tomorrow morning comes and goes quickly so that I can just get it overwith. We have to be there at 6:30am and surgery is scheduled for 7:30. It is an hour away from us, so we need to leave by 5:15ish and you don't want to know when we need to get up. We should probably be home by 10-10:30. I have to say, I am looking forward to sleeping and relaxing all weekend, I am exhausted. I am assuming the pain and soreness will be similar to how you feel after an egg retrieval but I do have my prescriptions filled for pain killers just incase. I will get on here and post an update as soon as I feel up to getting over to the computer. Oh how I miss my portable laptop (but that is for another post lol).
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editing this at 2:20pm

Ok, now things have changed. The place called me and left a message with my instructions and told me that I was to be there at 7:30 and that my appointment is for 8:30. So I had to call them back to make sure. This is all fine, except that since D will be home with me, I scheduled for them to come service the oil burner (they do it in the spring) getting the afternoon window which is 1-5. Well really it was 12-5 but I asked if they can come after 1 and the woman said ok but still I don't trust them. Oh well, if we miss it, we miss it. This is more important. I can just feel the anxiety building as the day goes on. I know I get all worked up over nothing but what can I do, it just happens. Luckily my boss is gone today and I have no urgent work to do so it won't kill anyone if I pretend to work and just fool around on the internet for the rest of the day. LOL Ok, maybe I will do some work but I know it won't be up to my full potential. I did get alot of work done this morning so that's good at least. So anyway, this change is good because we can get up an hour later but it is very annoying. I am not good with change, especially when I am freaking out. Oh yeah also, SKIP THIS PART IF YOU DON'T WANT TMI, I'm spotting and each day it has been getting worse and worse and I called Dr S twice in the past week and they said it was ok, that they could still do the procedure but I am worried that it will cause some kind of problem. I have been on birth control pills for 3 weeks since I started they to begin IVF but then when this happened they gave me a pack for another month, told me to keep taking them until my follow-up next Tuesday and skip the placebo pills. And even if I wasn't taking them, AF is not due yet. I know it can be normal for that to happen when on birth control pills but it is almost like a light period. I'm scared. I hate this. I don't want to do any of this anymore. WAH!!!

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

kind of a dumb thing

I do not want to be at work right now (do I ever?) and the day is dragging so my mind is wandering and thinking about everything I need to do before Friday when I have my d & c. So I started thinking about the only other times I have had anesthesia, the last 2 egg retrievals, and I am wondering, did I wear my contact lenses? I must have not because they are the 2 week disposable kind (and I don't sleep with them on) but I don't remember things being blurry on the way into the "OR" or what I even did with my glasses. Like I said, it was dumb, but I just hate wearing my glasses and I know I will want to wear my sunglasses in the car on the way home and I do not have prescription sunglasses. Which reminds me, I need to remind D to bring his prescription sunglasses. We will be traveling east at like 9am so I am sure there will be some sort of glare. Oh well, it is just one of those little annoying things that I will get over. Ok, must try to get back to work now.

Sunday, April 02, 2006

just stuff about stuff

Oh wow, it has been longer than I thought since I have posted on here. Not much is really going on. Now it is just a waiting period I guess. Waiting for the d & c, waiting to begin stims, waiting for the ER and ET, but that's it really. I guess everything else is pretty much status quo.

I had my annual review at work on Friday. It went alot better than I thought it would. I was very surprised. My boss is very happy with me. I was not expecting that since I had a rough year. Most of the "rough spots" were done before our busy season began in October and ended last month. So I guess I redeemed myself or she forgot. But either way, everything was fine. I got the highest possible raise which was good except that it is only 3.5% of an already shitty salary, so 3.5% of not much, is still not much. Oh well. She only touched on one negative thing, which I already knew she would pick that and there is a spot on the form for area needed for improvement so she had to write something. So I was not too upset about that. And it looks like I may get promoted to one of 2 positions. One is something new they are creating, I think it was already in the works and she told me about it on Friday. Alot of it is stuff I do already and then some new stuff. They are going to add more to my position and then split it up into 2 positions. And the other came up because someone gave notice last week. It all depends on if any of the people right above me are ready to get promoted, then I can get promoted into their position. It's all just a matter of which position and when this will happen. It sounded like she wanted all this to happen quickly but who knows. But still it was a good review overall and it made me feel really good.

I did not go to the sorority event on Saturday after all. D is doing graphics work for my cousin's husband who is starting his own business. So I found on Friday night that my cousin was coming too and then on Saturday morning that they were bringing their 5 year old niece (my other cousin's daughter). So I knew there was no way I could go out and that I needed to serve some sort of food since they were coming out from Manhattan (1 hr-1.5 hr ride) and arriving at 11:30. I was not thrilled since I was not planning on entertaining this weekend and I had planned to clean the house today, not Friday night after work but it worked out ok. We just had bagels, lox and cream cheese, so no cooking for me!!! And then us girls went and got manicures and pedicures while the guys worked. It was fun. And the niece ended up being really well behaved and they even put flowers on her nails, it was very cute. I thought it might bother me having her around but I guess because she is a little older and her mom was not there, it was ok. I guess it is more watching my cousin be a mother hurts more than being around the actual child when they are at that age.

So anyway, I have not done anything about my friend yet. I want to and I appreciate all the advice you have all given me, but that is something that has always been hard for me. Friend's don't usually piss me off, not the way family or D does, I don't let it. But when it does happen, I usually don't say anything, I just keep my distance for a while and then I get over it. I am not good at confronting friends. I know if I don't say something then it is my own issue and she will just keep doing it if I don't say something. I still might, I just haven't decided yet.

The rest of the weekend was pretty uneventful, which is fine by me. I got to take naps Saturday and Sunday and catch up on my soap opera, you know, the important stuff. And then there is the usual laundry and food shopping. And I went to Costco today too. And now I am catching up on emails and blogs and hanging out on the internet.

So I guess that's it for now. Good night :)